Is your past holding you back? Do you find it difficult to move forward in your life because you’re constantly reliving your memories?
Maybe it’s not your past, but your present — are you in an unhealthy relationship where your partner is tearing you down instead of building you up? You want to improve, grow, and cultivate a healthy relationship, but your partner doesn’t seem to be operating on the same frequency as you.
Or maybe it’s not your present, but your future. You’re unsure of what your purpose is, and you struggle with feeling anxious about all the possible bad things that could happen to you. You desperately need something to place your trust in so that you can move forward confidently.
If you find yourself in either one (or all) of these camps, you’re not alone! Each day, we all struggle with different things that can hold us back from greatness and healthy relationships. Many people go throughout their lives held back — but this doesn’t have to be you.
We can heal from our pasts. We can have healthy, lifelong relationships. We can find trust and stability in a world that’s always changing. Today, I have a guest who is sure to inspire you that this is all possible. I’m thrilled to welcome Pastor Michael Todd onto The School of Greatness!
In this episode, Pastor Michael and I dive deep into how we can improve our relationships and be better partners. We also discuss how important it is to have transparency, common faith goals, and fun in relationships. Lastly, Pastor Michael reminds us of the real significance of sacrifices to have the healthy and loving relationships we’ve all been craving for.
So if you’re ready to master relationships, marriage, and sex, then let’s get started!
Who Is Pastor Michael Todd?
Since February 2015, Pastor Michael along with his wife Natalie have been the Lead Pastors of Transformation Church based in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They were entrusted with the church by its founding Pastor, Gary McIntosh. Their philosophy and driving passion is representing God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ. Their mission is to place Christ in the center of culture to impact their community, city, and world with the gospel presented in a relevant and progressive way.
In 2016, because of their obedience and the viral impact of the sermon series “Relationship Goals,” they gained influence and the ability to reach millions of people all over the world. With the popularity of the series for over two years and gaining over six million views, Pr. Michael knew that this wasn’t just a sermon but was a necessary lesson which the world needed to hear. You can pick up a copy of his debut book Relationship Goals here.
Pr. Michael is also a highly sought-after speaker and leader who has ministered and spoken in many local and international churches and events, while leading Transformation Church. The congregation is able to gather over 5,000 people in physical attendance and over 20,000 people online every week. He and his wife, Natalie, live in Tulsa with three beautiful children — Isabella, Michael Jr., and Ava Todd.
In addition to being a spiritual leader, I would consider Pr. Michael a relationship expert as well! In this interview, he gave tons of valuable advice in finding and maintaining healthy and lasting relationships, which I’m excited to share with you!
Focus On Progression, Not Perfection
We might think that to have a thriving and loving relationship, we need to be this perfect or unflawed person to our partners and family. As human beings, however, this is unattainable.
This applies to church leaders, like Pr. Michael, who admits that as a person of faith, he even falters. During moments when he feels attracted to other women, he believes that as a disciple of Christ, he can fight such desires by focusing on his end goal. Pastor Michael shared the powerful goal he wants himself to have as a husband and as a father:
“My dream is to be married to one woman for my entire life. I also want my four kids to look at me and say, ‘Our father isn’t a man who followed his desires. He was disciplined enough to challenge himself every day with the world and everything at his fingertips. He’s so strong that he took my mother whose body and moods change and who doesn’t look the way when they first met. He stayed with her and showed us how to love somebody.’ … I believe that it doesn’t take a great man to learn how to love multiple women. It takes a great man, however, to learn how to meet the needs of one woman for a lifetime.” – Pr. Michael Todd
Pastor Michael also talked about the importance of good communication in a relationship. He believes that it’s the key to fight the feeling of isolation — the Enemy’s playground. This is where wrong thoughts, deception, and coping mechanisms begin. If left unchecked, some of these coping mechanisms can turn into habits that lead to addiction and eventually rule one’s life. He also pointed out that by having open communication, unity between partners will follow.
“It’s important to have communication in your relationship so you can talk about things in unity. I believe there’s a blessing in a relationship when there’s unity. There’s a level of authenticity that’s attractive. But where there are separate visions, that’s where everything crumbles.” – Pr. Michael Todd
To get into this unity, Pastor Michael emphasized honesty. Whether one has a dark or shameful past or bad memories, he believes that people need to be real with themselves and with their partners. He says because relationships are all about trust, which can be lost in buckets but gain back in drops. If we become dishonest, he advises us to be disciplined and be consistent enough to put those drops back in. Pastor Michael shared his beautiful perception on this matter.
“We’re flawed beings. God knows that, and that’s why he included a room for imperfection in his plan for us. And he gives grace. … Now, the beautiful thing about life is that it’s a journey. It’s all about becoming better from what we were weeks or years ago, which is the same with our relationships. We’ll make mistakes and hurt each other along the way, but as long as we’re trying to be better, then we can heal from the lies and deceptions in our relationships.” – Pr. Michael Todd
This is such a good insight — everything is about progression and never perfection. Truth is, we’ll never be perfect, and if we hold ourselves (or others) to that standard, we’ll be let down. Instead, wake up each day with a desire to be better — and include your partner in that discussion!
