James Baldwin said, “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
In our society, we’re not conditioned to love each other. In particular, men are taught to get whatever they can out of a relationship and then move on. All too often, we are driven by lust. We’re taught to selfishly pursue our own satisfaction, especially when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships with women.
Meanwhile, women aren’t always treated with respect and can be viewed as simply sexual objects. And unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for women to allow themselves to be treated that way. Maybe they are longing for any form of companionship. Or maybe they haven’t recognized their own worth.
These are generalizations, of course, but sadly they can be true. And they’re the reasons why we see so many broken relationships and marriages.
But people in healthy relationships work a little differently.
My guest today is here to tell us exactly how. His name is DeVon Franklin, and he’s an expert on healthy romantic relationships. In our interview, we get into a lot of great stuff. DeVon talks about the difference between lust and true love and how you can tell which one you’re feeling. He also talks about the one thing men today most lack and how we can improve in our relationships.
And for all the women out there listening, DeVon has plenty of wisdom for you too! We get into the reasons women often give up power and how you can reclaim your power and thrive in relationships.
It sounds cliché, but guys, love really is everything. I can’t wait to dive into this interview, so let’s go!
Who Is DeVon Franklin?
DeVon Franklin is a Hollywood producer, New York Times bestselling author, renowned preacher, motivational speaker, and a really good friend of mine. He’s an amazing guy, and I know he’s going to inspire you today!
You may have heard of some of DeVon’s best-known films Heaven is for Real or his most recent film, Breakthrough, which stars Chrissy Metz from This is Us. Or maybe you’ve heard of Miracles from Heaven, starring Jennifer Garner, which is the highest-grossing faith-based film of all time.
He’s a big deal.
DeVon is also a fantastic writer and the author of several bestselling books. He and his wife, actress Meagan Good are the co-authors of The Wait. DeVon Franklin’s books also include The Success Commandments and Produced by Faith.
DeVon Franklin’s new book, The Truth About Men, is full of wisdom. In it, he teaches men to think beyond sex and lead with love. He also talks about the power of acknowledging our feelings and communicating them honestly to those around us, which we dive deeper into in our conversation!
In addition to being an incredible creative force in the world, DeVon is an accomplished businessman. He’s the President and CEO of Franklin Entertainment, which recently signed a deal to become part of the 20th Century Fox family of companies.
And finally, DeVon Franklin is a major motivational speaker. With appearances on The Dr. Oz Show, Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, Dr. Phil, CBS This Morning, Entertainment Tonight, and more, it’s no wonder he’s one of the most highly sought Christian speakers out there! Beliefnet even named him one of the “Most Influential Christians Under 40.”
But aside from being a prolific content creator, inspirational speaker and writer, and social media influencer, DeVon is just a fantastic guy. He walks the walk and truly practices what he preaches. He is a man committed to loving his wife and modeling healthy relationships and healthy manhood to everyone who watches him, and he’s a true inspiration to me.
I’m so excited to share this interview with you today! DeVon and I get into some great stuff, so let’s get started!
Lust vs. Love
One of the critical things DeVon talks about in his new book is the difference between lust and love. I think we all have a basic idea of what love is, but I asked DeVon to define lust so we can more clearly understand the difference between the two.
“… I define lust as a selfish impulse for personal, professional, financial, or sexual fulfillment by any means necessary, even if those means are detrimental. We live in a culture that almost feeds on the lust in men and also encourages us as men to feed on that.” – DeVon Franklin
So in our relationships, lust is what drives us to serve only ourselves. And a lot of times today, the media in our culture tells men that what we want is sex and more sex. We’re taught to treat women as sexual objects instead of people. We’re taught to want more and more women, and even to take pride in sleeping around as much as possible instead of committing to a relationship with one woman.
DeVon thinks we can do better.
He thinks the most important thing we can do in a relationship is to identify whether we’re operating out of lust or love. If you’re dating or in a relationship, ask yourself, “Am I interested in pursuing a committed relationship with this person? Or am I just looking for sexual satisfaction?”
But those are tough questions, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what you’re really feeling. I asked DeVon how we can be sure we’re doing the right thing in a relationship, and he said it comes down to one thing: peace.
“Our peace is the strongest barometer. It’s our compass. It tells us we’re going in the right direction. It’s really about peace, and everyone has that opportunity to find what it is for them, but to me, that’s a great way to identify if this is the right person.” – DeVon Franklin
If you can be honest with yourself about whether you feel peace in a relationship, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble! If you do feel peace — that’s awesome, pursue that relationship with everything you’ve got! And if you don’t, you need to be honest with the person and get out of the relationship. You’ll avoid a lot of pain and heartbreak if you choose to operate out of peace and love instead of lust.
