Why does finding love seem impossible today?
Technology has made our lives easier in SO many ways, but it certainly doesn’t seem to be the case with dating. This is maybe because of some people’s thinking that they have unlimited options because of dating apps, a shift on what a “happy relationship” looks like, or something else entirely. Whatever the reason, finding love today is hard — and the data seems to back this up as well.
So how do we get back to basics? How can we find our ideal partner and receive the lasting love we’ve been searching for? My guest today has spent her career answering relationship questions like this one, and I’m happy to have her back in the studio for this episode.
Her name is Lori Gottlieb, and she’s going to share with us what makes finding love today seem impossible, what it takes to truly forgive your partner, how to avoid dating the “wrong” person for you, and so much more! This is such a powerful interview that I wanted to break it up into two parts and really go over two different topics that we discussed.
I know dating can seem overwhelming at times, so that’s why I’m excited to have Lori teach us how we can set ourselves on the right track to find the love we want. So if you’re eager to know more about this, let’s dive in!
Who Is Lori Gottlieb?
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over a million copies and is currently adapted as a television series for ABC.
In addition to her clinical practice, she is co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast produced by Katie Couric. She also writes The Atlantic‘s weekly Dear Therapist advice column. She is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR’s Fresh Air, and her recent TED Talk was one of the Top 10 Most-Watched of the Year.
With all these credentials, she’s one of my absolute go-to people for relationship advice. Her experience and insights are invaluable, so if you’re struggling in your dating life, this is the interview for you!
The Paradox of Modern Day Love
What makes finding love today seem impossible?
If you’re like me, you might have noticed that many people seem challenged in finding a great partner. Some find it challenging to stay in a healthy and thriving relationship. So, if you’re wondering why it’s so complicated and challenging for men and women or individuals to come together to be in a happy relationship, Lori is here to help you understand.
“I think it’s because no one teaches us how to love and be loved. We only learn about it through what others model to us. The thing is, sometimes we don’t get the best modeling growing up, but we don’t talk about it in the way that we need to. We end up both wanting closeness and fearing it at the exact same time.” – Lori Gottlieb
We want to be close to someone, but we also fear it at the same time. As Lori said, this causes many of us to get tangled up in a “paradox.” It prevents us from being vulnerable to the people we love so we can’t be loved properly.
But what is the thing we fear about love so much?
“The thing we fear is that love is going to wound us. While this may be true, love has the power to heal, too.” – Lori Gottlieb
Now the thing is, hurt is just a part of being in love. While it’s true that some people hurt their partners in an almost intentional manner, it can happen in loving relationships, too. It can be because of a lack of understanding of our partners or because we just don’t know how to deal with specific situations. It can be because we gave our everything and still our significant others cheated on us.
Lastly, it can also be because we keep on missing that the problem doesn’t rely on either of us, but both of us. After all, love’s a two-way street. Our actions can create ruptures in relationships, but when we work on these issues, together we can get past them and still make it work with our partners.
