Esther Perel

This topic is no different.

Cheating, being cheated on, and seeing a friend be hurt through infidelity are all some of the most painful experiences in life.

But what Esther has discovered, through her decades of experience as a psychotherapist who specializes in couples therapy, is that we often don’t cheat because we are looking for sex.

There are many layers to a satisfying, loving, committed relationship, and when couples are unwilling or unable to communicate about what they need in order to have that, they look elsewhere for it.

I learned so much in this interview, especially about how to be a better friend. I hope you share this episode with anyone in your life who has been affected by these issues. It’s a sensitive topic, but it’s so important to talk about.

Get ready to go deep into the matters of the heart in Episode 548.

Some Questions I Ask:

• What’s the definition of infidelity? (2:35)
• When should you define boundaries in a new relationship? (12:30)
• How do you regain trust in a relationship when someone is hurt? (17:04)
• Is the root of most divorces and breakups infidelity or something else? (25:40)
• How important is physical touch and intimacy in a relationship? (30:45)
• What’s the best advice to give to a friend who has been cheated on? (48:45)

In this episode, you will learn:

• What affairs are really about (it’s not sex) (4:30)
• Why we put so much pressure on our partners to be everything to us (7:33)
• Why more women are having affairs now (9:20)
• The difference between how men and women talk about sex (10:30)
• The biggest killer of relationships (26:23)
• Why men seek sex to find intimacy (33:05)
• The difference between understanding something and justifying it (36:13)
• What might be missing from you if you are unsatisfied in your relationship (39:50)
• Why novelty is so good for relationships (42:30)
• Plus much more…

Show Notes:

• Get a copy of Esther’s new book FREE when you order 2 copies of my new book here
• Listen to Esther’s podcast, Where Should We Begin?
• John Gottman
• Emily Nagoski
• Helen Fisher